Her Royal Bodyguard Read online

  The flight was similar. Alexandra sat with Alicia and closed her eyes. Back in London, back to the palace, Alexandra was numb and mute and so grateful to Alicia who fended off everyone for her.

  She stayed in her room for days and had all her engagements cancelled for her. The British Royal Family doctor was called for her repeatedly and couldn’t find anything physically wrong with her and said she just needed time.

  Alexandra never took time off and was never sick, so the palace gave her the space she requested.

  Erin meanwhile, spent so much time alone in her room. Imagining Alexandra in her own room, no idea what this time off was really about. She had heard about Alexandra’s migraine in Sweden, but she had also heard from the British doctor who was visiting her regularly that there was nothing serious wrong with her. Erin was relieved at that, but unsure what to do. She had been given time off, but she had no idea what to do with it. She remained at the palace, just in case Alexandra decided she wanted to go somewhere.

  She felt relief at moving their relationship back to purely professional. It was easier for her to detach and just do the job. She didn’t know how much it might affect her having to still see the Princess, but she thought she could do it. If Alexandra ever emerged from her rooms, that was.

  Alexandra had spent two weeks catatonic in her apartment refusing to see anyone, with Jess and Alicia fussing round her.

  She hadn’t really spoken a word and Jess and Alicia knew better than to pry.

  “I’d like to see Prince Nicolas,” she said out of nowhere one morning.

  “Sure,” responded Jess, ever efficient. “I will make it happen. You want him to come here?”

  Alexandra nodded, gazing into the distance.

  “Of course.” Jess hurried off, eager to make it happen.

  Nicolas flew in the next day, keen to speak to Alexandra. He hadn’t heard from her since her visit to Sweden and he was worried. But he respected her decision to be left alone. He understood she was unwell and perhaps needed some time. He arrived at the palace, curious as everyone else to find out what was happening.

  Alexandra waited in her drawing room to receive Nicolas. Alicia had done the best she could and made her up naturally, doing what she could to hide the bags under her eyes and the gaunt look on her face. Alexandra wore a simple green dress, which hung off her slightly now. Heartbreak has always been a fast weight loss solution.

  Nicolas arrived and greeted Alexandra warmly. He kissed both her cheeks. Jess scurried around serving them both drinks and sandwiches and then left them alone.

  “Nicolas, I want to thank you so much for coming all this way just to see me. I know you have given me every opportunity to speak openly and honestly with you and you have shown me every respect. And yet, I have remained guarded, I haven’t shared my secrets and for that I am sorry. I need to be honest with you now.”

  “Alexandra, you have no need to thank me or apologise. We all have our secrets, it is the nature of being a royal. We choose to share if and when we need to.”

  “I know. And I need to now. I have realised over the past couple of weeks that I cannot go on feeling like this. I have never told anyone this before, but I trust you implicitly. I welcome your advice.”

  “Go on,” Nicolas was warm and open and respectful and Alexandra was eternally grateful for that.

  “I haven’t married yet, because I’m not interested in men. It is women that I love and only women. I always have. I am gay.”

  “Oh Alexandra. I’m so honoured you felt you could share with me. It is your bodyguard isn’t it. The one with the dark hair? She is the woman you love?”

  “How did you know?” Alexandra raised her head.

  “I saw the way you looked at her. I may not say a lot, but I see a lot. This is the cause of your pain isn’t it? This forbidden love?”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “Alexandra, please do not apologise for who you are. Please do not apologise for hurting me. We are friends. I welcome your honesty.”

  “What do I do now though?” Alexandra looked to him intently, realising that perhaps he was right in that they had become friends over the past few months. She did trust him. She was speaking openly with him as normal people did with their friends.

  “Oh, my darling. I see your pain. I will stand by you through this. You have a couple of options as I see it. Firstly, you can carry on with your marriage to me and I will keep your secrets for you. You would be very welcome to have her live with us and I will give you both all the privacy and respect in the world. But honestly, Alexandra, I see the pain in your eyes. I’m not sure you can continue living a double life, it is killing you. It is 2020 Alexandra, you could come out. You are in a position of great power. I know you think your father holds the power and you need to please him, but really he doesn’t. You are the future of the monarchy. You are one of the most adored women in the world. You can make this choice to come out. There is gay royalty out there. There will be more in the future. Of that I am sure. Yes, you would, of course be the most high profile Royal to come out. But you would pave the way for the future. You would be an ambassador, a role model. You would be authentic to yourself and that will bring out the real light within you. Think about it, Alexandra. I will meet with your parents and their advisors with you and support you if it is something you want to do. But I see it in you, such a big, bold part of you. You could do so much good here, for yourself and for others. You love this bodyguard don’t you?”

  “Yes. Very much.”

  “What is her name?”

  “It’s Erin Kennedy.”

  “Does Erin love you too?”

  “I think so.”

  “Don’t let Erin go Alexandra. Don’t ruin the most precious thing you have, the thing that makes you happier than anything else in the world. Fight for her, for your love. Be braver. Make the difficult choices. Stand up for what I know you believe in. Do you want to live in a world where being gay is a dirty secret? Do you want other women to feel trapped the way you have for years? You can make this difference. You and Erin can be the golden couple. You can change the world for the the better.”

  Alexandra sat for a minute thinking and then she smiled. For the first time in weeks.

  “Thank you, Nicolas.” She grasped his hand in gratitude. “Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me, I will never forget it.”

  “JESS,” she shouted and Jess bustled in quickly. “Please arrange a meeting with my mother, father and their advisors as soon as possible please. That will be everything.”

  “Of course,” said Jess and she was straight out of the door and on with it.

  Nicolas smiled. “You are doing the right thing. I will come with you. It will all be okay.”

  22

  Finally, Erin had a schedule. Alexandra was visiting the country residence. The impressive castle that Erin used to work residential security on. The plan was to stay a couple of days. She still had heard nothing from Alexandra on a personal level, but she hadn’t expected to after what she had requested.

  Completely professional, Erin waited outside the drawing room ready for 12 o’ clock when Alexandra was designated to move.

  Alexandra swept out, not looking to her and Erin fell in step behind her. It was a job, just a job, she could do it.

  “Kennedy to Asher. Rose is on the move as per schedule. Over.” Erin spoke confidently to her radio microphone. She would do her job perfectly.

  “Roger that, Kennedy.” The response came.

  They made it safely into the vehicles, Alexandra on the back seat with sunglasses on, quiet.

  The journey passed uneventfully.

  What are you thinking Alex?

  They had arrived at the castle early afternoon and Alexandra had no plans, she had gone straight to her room. Erin was lounging in her designated room, reading.

  It was early evening when most of the staff had gone home when Erin’s phone beeped. Alexandra.

  Meet m
e by the rose garden at 8pm.

  Erin looked at her phone, slightly confused. Why would she not just walk out with the Princess if Alexandra wanted to walk? Why meet her there? Ok well, she must have something going on with the other security if she was in the castle grounds already by herself. How was she supposed to do her job properly if Alexandra was going to undermine her like this?

  She looked at her watch. 7.45. She replied to the message:

  Sure

  Erin jumped in the shower. She had been wearing the same clothes all day. A quick wash and dry and she popped her tight black jeans on and a casual t shirt. It was a warm evening and they weren’t leaving the grounds. Surely a T shirt would be fine and nothing more formal would be required.

  She headed down to the rose garden. It was magnificent. This one was far better than the one at the palace in London. It was much larger, with elaborate archways of beautiful roses and paths honeycombing through it.

  She could smell the roses before she got close. Alexandra was there, radiant in a floaty pink summer dress, her ashy blonde hair in loose waves, it had grown just past her shoulders now. Her dress was cerise pink, like some of the roses. It nipped in at the waist and Erin instantly thought she looked even thinner than usual. Her breasts less full, her arms looked skinny. But beautiful. Alexandra was always so so beautiful.

  Alexandra met her eyes for the first time since that night. Her blue gaze burning into Erin’s very soul.

  “Walk with me?” she requested.

  Erin fell into step behind her as her training dictated.

  “Alongside me.” Alexandra clarified.

  Erin moved up beside her and walked with her through the roses. There was peace and there was beauty and there were minutes before she spoke.

  “I do not have the words to tell you how sorry I am for the pain that I have caused you.” Alexandra began as they continued to walk. “I have a lot to tell you and I don’t really know where to start.”

  Erin looked to her curious.

  Alexandra took Erin’s hand, turned to her and took her other hand. She looked deep into Erin’s dark eyes and saw the toll the past couple of weeks had taken on her too.

  “I love you, Erin. Completely and absolutely.” Erin looked shocked. “I cannot be without you. I cannot breathe without you. I want you back. Officially though. I am going to come out.”

  Erin stood absolutely stunned and speechless, her T shirt tight around her biceps.

  “Also, you look totally hot in this T shirt. Please wear it more often.” Alexandra laughed and wormed her small hands into the waistband of Erin’s jeans. As her fingers touched the skin on Erin’s hips she felt alive again.

  “I love you, Erin. I adore you. We are going to be together. I have come out to my family and I want to come out publicly. My father has given us this castle as our home. If you like it? If you want it? It is ours. We can have all the horses here. We can get a dog. We can live a beautiful life. If you want to? If you can forgive me. You have lit a fire in me that will never die. You have shown me what real love is. Let me love you back. Properly. Say something, please.”

  “What about Nicolas?” Erin asked.

  “It is over. I cannot marry someone I am not in love with as it turns out. I want you Erin. I want it all with you.”

  “Your parents?”

  “I think they understand. Finally. Nicolas helped me make them understand. It isn’t perhaps the route they would have chosen for me, but they’ve taken it surprisingly well. You’ve been checked out, of course. By Henry. Even deeper checks than were first done when you started working for me have been done over the past couple of days. Your family, your friends, your whole life has been analysed, I’m afraid. But the good news is that you passed their tests. There’s nothing scandalous that would be damaging to me. And your family are way more middle class than you made out.” She laughed.

  Erin felt suddenly weak at the knees and sat on a nearby bench.

  “I can’t believe this. Seriously, I cant. I mean, this is more than I ever hoped for. I feel like I am in a dream.”

  “It is no dream.” Alexandra sat astride Erin on the bench, held her face and kissed her deeply.

  Erin felt her body responding, felt the pain of the past weeks fading. Alexandra was hers, only hers. She was going to come out. They were going to be together properly. Alexandra’s tongue met her own.

  She reached instinctively between Alexandra’s legs, the floaty dress providing ease of access and was met by silk panties. Very wet silk panties. She brushed underneath them feeling Alexandra’s heat before Alexandra pulled her hand away.

  “Later,” she whispered in Erin’s ear. “Later I will give you all of me and take all of you. We have all the time in the world. But first, there’s something else.” She smiled like a naughty teenager.

  Erin gripped her wrists tightly and looked into the loveliness of her face.

  “I love you, Alex. More than I ever thought was possible. You are incredible, intelligent and beautiful, and every day I want you more. You are my sunshine. Yes. Yes to everything you are asking. A million yeses. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you.”

  Erin kissed her like it was the first time again and as they both came out of the kiss, Alexandra jumped up and took her hand leading her through another tunnel of roses.

  They came out to a table and chairs and a waitress in the clearing of the garden.

  “Ma’am,” the waitress curtsied her respect.

  She pulled Alexandra’s chair out to seat her and then the same for Erin.

  She lifted the lids on plate after plate of beautiful food.

  She served them both with a cold, fruity Sangria that tasted incredible.

  Alexandra smiled across the table at her.

  “This is our second date, my love. Soho was the first, although I think I forgot to mention that it was a date at the time.” She winked. “Try not to hit anyone on this date.”

  “I was just wondering if Princess’s put out on second dates?” Erin smirked.

  “Oh this one will. All night long.”

  They both laughed and held hands across the table.

  “I’m so in love with you Erin. I’m not sure how easy coming out will be, but it will be a whole lot easier with you by my side and your strong arms to always come home to. I can only thank you for setting me free from the cage I had put myself in.”

  “You are doing the right thing Alex. Coming out might be hard, but you will never look back. I’ve got you, through it all, I promise.”

  And Alexandra knew that she did. She knew that Erin would be her rock throughout this and her future challenges.

  “The only thing is, if you are officially my girlfriend, I’m going to need a new bodyguard!” she laughed.

  Erin laughed with her. She was ready to follow Alexandra in her new capacity as girlfriend. Ready to love her through it all.

  Epilogue

  Two months later

  Princess Alexandra stood in front of a packed outdoor press conference in the sun in the gardens of the castle and spoke to the press and to the world. Her coming out played live on television throughout the world. Every news station in the world wanted a piece of her.

  “People of the United Kingdom, Commonwealth Realms and the world. I know you have all eagerly awaited news of my engagement and that this might come as a shock to a lot of you. I have chosen to speak today myself. The royal advisors wanted our press secretary to speak for me, but the least I can give you is my honesty in person.”

  Her eyes were intent as they looked into the cameras, her face serious and her hair lifted slightly in the breeze. The rich blue dress they had put her in was the colour she always suited best, befitting of Alexandra the Princess and Alexandra the person.

  “I want you to see me today, not just as your Princess and future Queen, but as Alexandra. Alexandra the person. Behind everything I do to serve, there is a person and her name is Alexandra. For so long, I felt such a weight of
expectation to marry and bear children, not out of love, but out of duty, and late at night, I used to cry alone in my bed.

  I have hidden a huge part of myself and that is not the way I choose to live. That has gone against everything I believe in and everything that I am.

  I need you all to know that, whilst I respect him greatly and have become great friends with him, I will NOT be announcing my engagement to Prince Nicolas. I will not now, or ever be announcing my engagement to any man. I love women, and only women, I always have.”

  There were gasps through the crowd of journalists. It clearly wasn’t what they were expecting, but they gave her the respect and remained transfixed on her as she continued.

  “I wish that I lived in a world where I hadn’t carried this burden of my sexuality in secrecy and silence for thirty five years. I wish I had been braver, years ago, braver and more honest with myself and with the world. But, I cannot change the past. I want to change things for the better. I want this to be the start of a brighter future. I want no young girl or boy to feel trapped like I did, for so long. I want to change things in countries where it is illegal to be gay and campaign for a better world for all of us.”

  Alexandra fixed her ocean eyes into the cameras.

  “Mostly, I want to continue to do good. To help people. To serve. If my coming out helps one person who is struggling with their sexuality, then it was worth it.”

  She took a deep breath.

  “I was born into this role, and it is a role I have taken and will continue to take very seriously. I want to thank you all for your continued support of myself and the Royal family throughout my life. I want to thank my parents for their support in this decision I have made to come out. I know it has been difficult for them to amend the expectations they had for their only daughter, and indeed the expectations that for centuries have been put upon royalty. I will continue to support all the causes and charities that believe in so greatly. I will continue to fight for a better world for all of us. I will continue to do good.”